The following article was sent by a friend. To those who are parents-to-be or whether you are already a parent,this article will be good for you. :)10 Big Mistakes Parents MakeWhile we all love our kids, in this day and age of two working parents and insane schedules, we tend to cut corners and neglect important things. That being said, here are 10 big mistakes parents make.
1) Spoiling kidsThere is no doubt that parents love their kids and want them to have all the things they didn’t. However, this comes at a price.Tons of parents;who meant well,have ended up spoiling their kids to such an extent that the kids aren’t even happy with all the stuff they have. This causes them to never be satisfied and always want more. Junior doesn’t need one more piece of crap, what he needs is some special time with his parents.
Think of it this way:
How will they ever be prepared for disappointment throughout their life—or learn to be thankful for anything,when they are already used to having everything they want?
2) Inadequate disciplineWhen you’re too lazy to adequately discipline your kids, you pass the little devil you’ve created on to your relatives, coaches, teachers, and his friends’ parents. It’s not okay to let your kids treat your house like it was a Jump Planet because that’s exactly how they’ll treat other people’s homes.
They should also be much well-behaved when they leave the house and visit other places. I’ve lived through this nightmare first-hand, with the same kid at my house treating my $1,500 couch like a trampoline, and then calling my daughter “ugly” while the kids were eating dinner. All within a 15-minute span.
If you don’t discipline your kid, someone else will—
and you won’t like it.
3) Failing to get involved at schoolSchool is where your kids will spend more time than any place besides your home. It’s also the place that will bear the most responsibility for shaping their life—from teachers and their peers. That being said, how can you not want to be involved in what’s going on there?
It doesn’t matter if it’s you or your spouse: Your family needs to have a presence at that school. And don’t use work as an excuse—take a vacation day if you need to. You’ll see immediately that it’s time well spent.
You should also have at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher. It’s a great way for that teacher to see that you’re interested in your child’s development, and the teacher can alert you to anything concerning that may be going on with your son or daughter. Your kid’s teacher may take a much more active role with your child if they know you’re keeping close tabs.
4) Praising mediocrityWhile we all want to encourage our kids to do well and build their self-esteem, there is a point of going too far. Building a child’s self-esteem is great, but having a big party for a mediocre accomplishment skews what they view as a real achievement. One big place I see this is in sports. A participation trophy for anyone over the age of 6 just ends up devaluing the meaning of a real trophy. It’s happening in my own household. While I was against trophies for my 7-year-old son’s basketball team, a few moms overruled. My son has played exactly four seasons of sports and has earned more trophies than I did in my 40 seasons growing up. Something is out of whack.
5) Not giving kids enough responsibilityYour kids shouldn’t be expecting any payment for doing chores around the house. It’s a home, not a hotel. That being said, an allowance is a great idea … for extra work. They should be pulling their weight as part of the family. If they grow up without enough responsibility, how in the world do you expect them to hold down a job, or get through college? When they get “of age,” make sure they’re taking some of the burden off you around the house—from unloading the dishwasher to picking up dog crap in the backyard.
While they’re not your slaves, they sure aren’t on vacation, either.
6) Not being a good spouseHow you treat your husband or wife is very important to the way your kids will develop relationships, especially as adults. If you treat your spouse poorly, or if your only way to settle any kind of dispute is to yell and scream at each other, you’re teaching your kids to handle themselves the same way.
Kids learn from watching you much more than they learn from listening to you.
If you treat your spouse with love and respect, it will also show your kids the value of their family. It will also make them feel their family is a safe haven in what can be a dark, scary world.
7) Setting unrealistic expectationsWhen dealing with kids, you need to set reasonable expectations for them—especially the little ones. If you want to go out to a nice dinner and expect your 2-year-old to sit there like a little prince, you are setting yourself up for major disappointment. Also, if you have visions of a football star and your son weighs 80 pounds and likes to play the clarinet, you need to reset those expectations.
Don’t hold unrealistic expectations for your kids: The expectation you should have is for them to be happy.
8) Not teaching kids to fend for themselvesMany parents tend to baby kids these days and cater to their every need, and that eliminates the value of hard work and becoming independent as they grow into adults. I fear that we’re raising a generations of wimps.
Kids nowadays expect everything to be done for them, from cleaning their room to band-aids for hurt feelings. Teaching them to toughen up and do things on their own doesn’t mean that you love them less; it means you love them more.
9) Pushing trends on kidsLet kids be kids. Parents shouldn’t push their trends or adult outlook on life on their kids. Just because it was your life’s dream to marry a rich guy doesn’t mean we need to see your 4-year-old daughter in a “Future Trophy Wife” t-shirt. The same goes for the double ear piercing—that’s what you want, not them. Teaching kids about your passions is great, but let them grow up to be who they are. And yes, this goes for you pathetic stage parents as well. It’s hard enough for kids to figure out who they are in the world without you trying to turn them into what you couldn’t be.
10) Not following throughI have trouble with this one sometimes. If you’re telling your kids that they’ll be grounded if they paint the neighbor’s dog one more time, you’d better follow through. Unfortunately, following though on punishments or promises makes your life a little more difficult, but building trust is what’s most important. If you’re not true to your word, your kids will assume anything you say is just talk. Then you have a real problem on your hands. You’ll also end up with kids who don’t trust their parents.
essential nature found.
[9:23 PM]
i had quite a packed weekend -- attending Christina's concert last fri @ NAFA,doing up my project planner 2010 on sat and gg bugis for X'mas Shopping (Part 1) with eve!
13.11.09 @ NAFADinner was a simple dumplings ramen soup and seaweed rolls with darling. The ramen tasted especially delicious that evening;perhaps it's because i'm having my meal with darling -- muahaha...Nice hot ramen soup on a chilly evening with ur beloved hubby = warmth and love~
The concert lasted for about 2hrs...I only enjoyed a few movements; some are a tad boring...Of course,i'm there to be "awed" by christina's playing,which is true...hee~ There are particular two pieces that i find quite boring (both are not performed by christina;
luckily) -- one is 23mins long while the other is 26mins long,both dar n me nearly fell aslp.
But thank God, they didn't perform the Full song, they played only 1 to 3 movements from the selected song, otherwise i'll be snoring away~ lol.
Well,not everyone would know how to appreciate classical pieces -- there's this little boy sitting in front of me, said "BORING." when the concert was over and everyone was busy applausing; expectedly, the applause died down and there was an awkward silence (not that i bother,anyway).
Darling and i strolled to The Cathay shortly after that.I'm supposed to stay back and look for Christina but i'm too sleepy by then -- take photos oso not pretty liao...muahaha~
15.11.09 @ Bugis,1200-1815hrsi got home at about 7.15pm.
Met eve @ 12pm plus for a simple lunch,followed by X'mas Shopping (Part I).Our "territories" for the day is Bugis Village - iLuma - Bugis Junction - Bras Basah Complex.
Hmm...day 1 = we saw a lot of things,a lot of clothes,a lot of pretty stuff BUT unrealistic to us.End up we only cleared a bit of items on our shopping lists.The shopping trip was fulfilling for me cuz i cleared one of the most impt item on my list - my 姐妹 dress for Sis Ping's wedding! :)
Eve suggested Shopping Trip Part II and i'll be looking fwd to it...Cuz i love walking around town to "feel" the atmosphere of x'mas as well as see what are the shops selling nowadays...
Well,guys will never understand why girls liked shopping,just like girls will never understand what's so fun about playing computer games...lol~
Up next week is a busy week,yet again.
Piano lesson as usual,training @ Tampines plus facial (oh,my love!)...
essential nature found.
[11:36 AM]
went to attend this "be a trader, remisier or SGX trading member" seminar with dar @ SGX Centre on last sat!
All right, the trading industry is not my forte; though i do understand some of the "terminology" and its characteristics (i got an A back when diploma k)...muahaha~
We met at 7am (we must be mad but hey,registration starts @ 9am!) and had breakfast at Mac (raffles city shopping centre),and then we strolled over to SGX Centre...Arhmmm....it's been a long time since we both wake up and go "pator" so early in the morning -- i woke up @ 6am!!!
which is only an hr later than i did on weekdays -- kill me ba...Sat still nidda wake up so early to attend sth tt's not my forte...lol~ But i do enjoy the breakfast,the bus ride,the stroll and the lunch.
Haiya,to summarise, i liked the whole morning with dar!
The seminar oso had a career fair,so darling registered with 80% of the companies --- Hope to hear some good news soon! :)
essential nature found.
[7:50 AM]
changed blog song again.
one of the songs that i can really cry when listen during tt G.D...
and it's really true when the song sang 它将你我心事唱得太敏感...
and it's oso the only song during the G.D. tt kept reminding me -- we should always think in two perspectives, not to keep caring about how you felt, or how right u r in one matter (though i'll still insist i'm right when i'm Really right), or how much hurt the other person brought u...
我们一直忘了要搭一座桥
到对方心底瞧一瞧
How true this sentence was.
Imagine how many couples in the world fall into this trap.
Perhaps we're all; most of time, too self-centred that we only cared about ourselves, and plan for the other party (it meant no harm), thinking that he/she will accept it, he/she will love the idea, he/she will greatly appreciate your effort...
人
往往都太自以为是
直到真的有了考验
才发现
其实所有事都不像自己以为的那样
才后悔
才泪如雨下
才想弥补
才想重来
但
又有几个人的人生
可以让他们重新再来
让他们整顿重来？
The G.D. effect may not be fully removed.
But i'm grateful everyday for everything to settle down in the way it has been previously.
But i'm grateful everyday for everything to settle down in the way it has been previously.
And i'm totally grateful and felt loved, for having darling back, once again.
He knew i'm having my wedding songs in preparation (muahaha~). And he have heard some of them -- other than the our theme song...i particularly liked one song that i happened to came across online...
One of the lyrics sang "in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you"
That's very true.
Come one day, in the near future...i would like my hands to be held in yours, and tell u that in the end, i wanna stand at the beginning with you.
We've come by a lot; be it sorrows or happiness, and i have faith that, we would be able to face the stumbles ahead in a brand new perspective, at a brand new chapter, with a brand new title.
I LOVE YOU, darling!
*gmbiloveuhlublub*
essential nature found.
[8:45 PM]
谁能够将天上月亮电源关掉
它把你我寂寞照的太明了
关于爱情我们了解的太少
爱了以后又不觉可靠
你和我看着霓虹
穿过了爱情的街道
有种不真实味道
我们一直忘了要搭一座桥
到对方的心底瞧一瞧
体会彼此什么才最需要
别再寂寞的拥抱
谁能够将电台情歌关掉
它将你我心事唱得太敏感
当两颗心放在感情天平上
想了太多又做得太少
你和我仰望星空
走到了爱情的边疆
有种不确定预感
essential nature found.
[8:34 PM]
it's been quite some time since i update my poor little blog --- alamak, how can i always start my blog entry with such a statement?! it just goes to show how lazy i am to update it...muahaha~
Anw, x'mas is around the corner and i'm getting a tad busy...Second half of Year 2009 is indeed a good time well-spent! :)
Went out with my dear sister, eve (after 3-4 months?!) last thursday. We had our (long-missed) mushroom soup and italian cuisine @ Roma Deli, a movie rush @ iLuma - Jennifer's Body, followed by our (long-lost) sisters' talk @ M...till almost midnight and we both have to take cab home...
it's a record-breaking day for me -- the fake eyelash i've put on actually lasted for almost 21 hrs, including my contact lens as well...not to mention that i didn't use the eyedrops that i've brought as well -- i'm so proud of myself that darling felt -.-....
Muahahaha~
It's actually good to have Eve around, as i'm not those type that will be alert at all time (depending on the situation)...All thanks to her alertness, we're both home safe and sound.
Coming up for November and December is a string of events that I'm also not too sure where to start to arrange on...LOL~
1. To attend seminar with Dar this Saturday
2. Attending a musical concert, performed by Christina
3. X'mas Shopping with Eve
4. My favourite facial
5. X'mas steamboat buffet with Eve and girls
6. Birthday dinner with my beloved sis ping
7. X'mas celebration with darling
8. Convocation on 05.12.09
9. Gin's wedding at end-dec
10. Job training at Tampines...(WHAT!!! not again!)
Uh-oh...i'm BUSY.
But i'm LOVIN' it.
essential nature found.
[5:13 PM]
